Let me let you in on a little secret- we are ALL figuring it out.
That person in your life that has it completely put together- I promise you that every now and then they might pop in a frozen pizza for dinner with too big of a glass of wine to wash it down. That person who absolutely *loves* their job–probably does– but also probably has cried about it many times. That best selling self help author has deleted pages and pages of their book drafts, questioning why anyone would listen to their words. I believe it is human nature to look at other people who we aspire to be and grab on to any bit of knowledge they might intend to offer, allowing thoughts of, “if this is how THEY do it- then it must work for me!” Which I hope we realize at this point in time, is a bunch of bologna.
The irony here is I am going to offer some life advice, although I feel I might be the furthest thing from someone who has it “figured out”. But instead of telling you what I think you should be doing to help clean up the loose ends of your existence- I am here to offer words and lessons that I have learned, only after I have deeply struggled.
I thoroughly believe in living life with zero regrets- not because there aren’t past events that pain me to my core- but because I have always, without a doubt, learned something from them. It is once I have found life’s painful or confusing lesson, that I can begin to move forward.
So here are my 6 life lessons from someone who is far from figured out:
- You won’t ever have all the answers. My apologies now- but it’s the truth. Learn to be ok without finality.
- “Ready” isn’t a word you should live by, especially when it comes to decision making.
- Wants, desires, needs, and nonnegotiables are four very different experiences- learn to decipher them.
- Smiling (inner or outer) needs to be a life nonnegotiable- which doesn’t mean you always need to be happy-I just hope it is a constant end goal.
- Love (self love, friendship love, familial love, romantic love) will never and should never replicate itself in the same way. Stop acting and thinking as if it should.
- Learn to be your own person. Learn to be by yourself, be curious about alone time- I promise company will then come back tenfold.
I could tell you that you, “This is all you need to know! Go run wild with liberation!” but in reality, the best advice I could offer is this:
Make a list of your own 5-10 major life lessons. Write them down, repeat them, sit with them- allow them to bury somewhere in your heart. That is when I hope the true liberation can begin.